Turben Developmental Services - Susan Question of the Week

Hi Susan: I need a few games which 5 year olds can play that will foster their development of self control - waiting their turn is good in many games but I would love a few ideas for other ways or games. Thanks, Jamie

Here are a few games for social competence and self-control. Waiting your turn is OK, but you need more interactive social development skill building. Cooperation and helpfulness are the desired outcomes of these games. Showing respect for others and a feeling of confidence come with activities which promote social and civil responses to situations. I think role playing care giving gentle behaviors greatly help as well. Use dolls and animals and miniatures and natural materials like sand, water, mud, clay, etc. to enable 5-7 year olds to experiment with pretend situations that encourage kindness and resolving conflicts. There are peaceful parenting programs that help families use literature and biblio-therapy to diffuse situations and help children problem solve in their K-3 years.

Spatial games: give children space boundaries and help them move in their own space (be as little as you can - roll up in a ball!) and then move into their neighbors space to play jump roping or drawing on each others backs and guessing what the message is.

Language games: Walkie Talkie games like passing a secret message around the class and listening to the final version which will be very different then the one which was started. These make language fun and even playful.

Scavenger hunts and mystery trips: are wonderful ways to teach social trust and security in other games. Activities that use partners as friends are big confidence boosters.

Theme projects for small cooperative groups: are excellent for learning everyone makes mistakes; making mistakes in front of 5-7 year olds teaches them they can't be perfect and their sense of honesty in telling others when they make a mistake (instead of lying ) will begin to develop. Tattling is such an issue at this age. Don't permit tattling, say "go to that person you have the problem with, I trust you two to work it out."

Dramatic play at the "mall" or "at church": games help build intelligent responses to social situations like manners, morals and family values are easily taught through drama and musicals. Singing teaches children to problem solve. Children make up a situation like fighting or hitting and each person acts out each part. You want everyone to experience the "Bully" the teacher's pet, the angry parent, the salesperson. Teach "friends" to say please and thank you, etc.

Pretend play is still the most important area of intellectual development during these years of learning self control. Literature can and should be "acted out." "Sylvester and the Magic Pebble" is perfect for families. "I can do it myself" is a younger, wonderful "acting out book. Libraries can help find pretend play books and short dramas for parents.

Fiver year olds love to help, so use themes (like bears or boats) to encourage self control, so students can do things for themselves. Arrange materials at the classroom or house that require children to get their own materials and put them away.

Thanks again for writing to me,

Dr. Susan Turben