Toddler

Use toilet or toilet seat as a place to go or be voluntarily or with suggestion paired with positive statements.
Say: I have to go potty; you come along and see how I do it.
Say: Let’s take the potty chair to the kitchen while I’m doing dishes, you can sit on it and we’ll sing about it.

Observe and count exactly when she urinates and “poops” for enough time to know her pattern. Give up a few days when you’ve declared her “ready” and remove as much clothing as possible and take her to the toilet each ½ to ¾ hour period. Remove diapers all together except for naps and nighttime. (Spring and summer work best.)

Use a delayed response to reinforce attempts to use the potty.

Praise the child from sitting on the potty. Ignore her if she gets up.

If a small stream of urine flows then be busy with something else, but look at the potty, not the child.

Say nothing for 10 seconds after flow stops (no interruptions of any kind).

Then say, “Are you finished going potty?”

Say thank you in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

Repeat this process in 30-45 minutes.

This training is excellent for a child understanding that she has control, but must start and end the activity herself. The issue here is self-control.

Self-management of the potty is what is advocated. The pelvis must be able to be relaxed; urethral sphincters must be relaxed and detrusor contracted. The idea is to hold and let go. These opposite actions are typical of older toddlers. They hold on, release; grab, let go; push, pull; throw, pick up.

Toddlers want to be independent, so we need to:

“Catch” child and praise her immediately

“Catch” child going in pants immediately direct her to do an immediate clean-up, including washing the pants or soiled diaper, floor, chair, etc. If she messes, she cleans it.

Make no comments about bad behavior, only make comments on the situation.
Say: “What a mess”  “It’s a mess” “Clean it”
Say: “Wetting the pants means wetting the floor; “It” must be cleaned up.”
Say: “Poo-poo goes with the potty; now, the poo will be cleaned off the pants and put it into the pot. Now.”
Boss, don’t nag; don’t criticize.

The toddler needs to hear urgency and a clear statement that she is not an unacceptable dirty person (shame, shame) but the messy situation is unacceptable and cannot be ignored.

Focus on urgency: clean up and return to a normal cleaned-up status quo: clothes removed, pants changed, dirty clothes washed, other areas fixed up.

Focus on positive: praise and reward any contact with potty that indicates understanding of what it’s for.

Focus on talking about the potty as an object just like food or clothes are objects. We wear clothes, we eat food, we use the pot. Be matter-of-fact. Some people even read on the pot. That’s not so bad either!

Have a sense of humor.