Potty Training
Dear Dr. Susan:
We have a three year old who doesn’t want to be “Potty-trained.” She knows when she needs to go the bathroom but finds it easier to simply stay in diapers. Any suggestions for this problem?
Molly
Dear Molly
Thank you for visiting our web site and for writing; The important thing to remember is the age and stage of your daughter. She is feeling “in control” and likes the attention, good or bad, which is part of constantly having the subject brought up. Try removing her outer clothing when you are in a warm house, except for underwear, and telling her that using the toilet is what you expect. Tell her she would not be able to go to certain places because she isn’t able to use the toilet. For example, most preschools do not accept untrained 36-40 month olds. Some activities like ice-skating or horseback riding can’t deal with untrained 3 year-olds. Remove the diapers (except pull-ups) and tell her “we will not buy anymore and “we will use pull-ups only at night.
Encourage her to “practice” going to the toilet, and put up a “heart” chart for every time she does go in the toilet. Don’t punish or reward her with any bribes or treats. With her help, make a 2-week “Heart Chart” and tell her at the end of the 2 weeks, she’ll be all set, all trained. Tell everyone in the family about your plan.
Have your daughter see the charts on the door to her room and hear what the plan is, and that the whole family knows about it. Show her five things she will be able to do (use pictures in magazines) when she is trained. For example, she can go buy Ariel underwear, or have a new belt to go with her jeans. The “Heart Chart” is more fun and like a “valentine” this time of year.
If she still refuses, then she will have to clean herself up, change her own clothes, and even do the laundry when she wets or soils herself. She will not get a “heart” on her heart chart. Tell her that’s okay, and maybe she will do better tomorrow, but do not ”wimp” out and go back to diapers. Most children are ready to use the toilet at 24-26 months and feel very important when they do. Older children get the message that they can get a lot of attention and bribes, if they don’t use the toilet regularly. So parents end up rewarding the wrong things. Stay on course and be firm. It’s time to give up diapers!
Thanks again for writing and let me know your progress or if you have any more questions. Visit our website often www.turben.com as new information and article are added on a regular basis.
Sincerely,
Dr. Susan H. Turben
