Four Year Old Sleep Issues
Dear Dr. Susan:
I have a four year old daughter, that is driving me crazy at night. She will not go to bed. Her average time she goes to sleep is 10:30 p.m. Is there any suggestions or some sort of website that will give me advice. She comes up with at least ten things every night that will prolong the sleeping process. About half of the time I give up around 10:00 p.m. and let her sleep with me. What can I do so that she will stay in bed, and I don’t have to walk her back to bed every ten minutes.
Karen
Dear Karen:
Thank you for writing your question and visiting the website. The good news is your daughter is very smart. The bad news is that somehow she has gotten to feel that she is in charge of bedtime, she can’t be! You are giving up at 10 p.m. and she is feeling like a real winner! Start bedtime preparations a lot sooner than you are currently. Back up by at least 2 hours; that means if she used to take a bath and read her books at 8, do it right after she eats at 5:30 or 6 p.m. Start sooner, set a timer, and giver her plenty of notice about how much time is left for each activity. If her goal is to sleep in your bed, sit down and have a family meeting and explain the family rule; each person has their own space and privacy when she goes to bed. She can have rewards like earphones to listen to music or the light on, or stuffed animals in her bed. Don’t threaten her, but each time she does not follow the rule, take away one TV show the next day, one treat to take with her to preschool, or something, you must regain control of your household. Reward her only when she does what she is supposed to do. Don’t punish her but, tell her she loses a privilege and you hope she will do better the next day. Be very matter of fact and down to earth. Don’t get mad or yell or threaten. Just go about your business and when she doesn’t comply, silently march her back to bed and say good night. A simple hook and eye latch on her door may be down the road, but remember she didn’t get this habit over night, so it won’t go away over night either.
Thank you again,
Susan H. Turben, Ph.D.
