Six Year Old Gory Fantasy's
A Question for Ask Dr. Susan:
My daughter-in-law is concerned because my almost 6 year old grandson writes stories about a witch killing and boy and talks about cutting people. Should she be concerned?
Thanks for expressing your daughter-in-law's concern, but you can rest easy! It is natural and normal for young children, between the ages of 6 and 10 years of age, to become obsessed with fantasy and reality, which are both part of the intellectual growth and development at this stage of development! This is because, while young children still have huge dependency needs, such as clinging, acting out, misbehaving, helping and demanding attention, they also are mentally engaged in pretending and testing the reactions of adults.
As your grandchild becomes increasingly independent, curious and adventurous, she draws literally and figuratively, on her imagination to
find creative ways to observe the world around her, seeing what adults think or do, imitating what is seen on TV, video and media, reacting to what she sees and hears, increasing her control over the environment in which she lives. Your granddaughter is using fine motor skills like drawing, and her visual skills, flamboyant skills like playing house, and more, depending on the personality of the child. Some children draw their fears and others
draw comfort creatures! Some may be terrified and curious, trying to express thoughts and feelings about what is seen! This is important mental
exercising, so jump in and start your own drawing or playacting! At your granddaughter's age, scary things fascinate, many kids fantasize gory scenes but retreat, timid and fearful, while still others, attack and advance fears with action objects like swords, dolls with no arms, dramatic deaths, and love of hero figures. Intellectual growth and social and emotional self-control are developed in all "Let's pretend" episodes, and are needed for optimal mental and emotional development.
The most helpful activity is one in which you listen and try to "read your child's mind." If the child draws a dead witch, you draw a princess on a white horse riding into the sunset....create an opposite effect. Start a conversation, share your feelings, and wait for a tiny glimpse into the mind, body and feelings of the child. Family members learn by listening, then speaking, taking turns. Take turns talking and listening! Ask questions and roll with the punch! Have fun!!!!
-----thanks again for writing....keep those questions coming!
Dr. Susan Turben
