Six Year Old Bites Every So Often
Dear Dr. Susan:
I have a 5 year old boy who at most times is well behaved. Once in a while he will do something like bite a playmate. He will be disciplined and the behavior will not recur for two to three months or longer and then suddenly appear again. The length between events makes it hard to see triggers and it is hard to escalate consequences. Any ideas?
Brandy
Dear Brandy:
Thank you so much for visiting my website and writing in with your question.
As you know, children outgrow the urge to bite by late toddlerhood because after that time, they are anxious to please others and make friends.
Children 3-5 years of age are “crowd pleasers”, and yet they are still in need of the safety and security of family and home.
Children who continue to bite usually are telling adults they feel insecure for some reason. Since we can’t always figure out why they feel this way adults, must set down rules to follow and reduce tension and frustration that can lead to biting, kicking, hitting, or other physical actions which are not acceptable.
Have frequent conversations about how you wish your child to handle his urge to bite. Give him strict steps to follow when he gets the urge to bite and avoid punishment, except to take away privileges he has earned such as; video games, tv, or trips to Chuck E. Cheese, etc. Practice these steps over so he knows how to handle this biting instinct. Try teaching him to take deep breaths, walk away from the situation, and to tell an adult what’s wrong before he bites. Be firm and rehearse all the steps he must take to prevent the biting from happening again.
Thanks,
Susan H. Turben, Ph.D.
