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12 Year Old Bad Grades
My daughter is 12 years old. She is in the 7th grade in an Indian convent in Kuwait. She has no interest in studying at all because of this her grades are dropping. Please give me some tips how I can make her study hard to get good grades.
I can describe for you how twelve year olds behave and think, then you can decide on what's best for your family and your daughter. Twelve year olds have discovered they have a mind of their own and that you cannot read their minds. This "private" knowledge makes adolescent girls feel very powerful and in control of their actions, which is true. You as a mom, and/or her dad are the ones who especially need to be in charge at this time in her life. Try to do these easy things to help her focus on "her job", which is to go to school, and to develop her talents.
#1 Start having family meetings every few days or even more often in the beginning. Family meetings take place either at home or where ever you need to talk to her. At the first few meetings, you can lay out the family rules you feel are most important-not too many!!! Just think of a few general ones, like children do not yell or hit.
#2 Children in our family do homework at the kitchen table after they have relaxed and had a snack after school.
#3 Children help at home, depending on their talents and skills and ages. You can have rules that pertain to each day or each week. I'm sure you see how important it is for children to know the rules as they become more independent and have their own private thoughts.
Cooperation is a skill parents must teach their children; cooperative helping makes teenagers feel important. Make sure you listen more than you talk and that you model by example the same good habits and behaviors you want your child to develop. Children learn by watching you; the more you read and learn, the more they will want to do the same.
Teach them how much fun it is to study! Do a project on worms and gardening if you enjoy gardening. Write poems or stories and read lots of books out loud at night with your child.
Teach children good habits by doing chores and studies together, play board games that teach math or science, go to the local elders and ask them to tell stories to the children and teenagers. Get your child involved in social science clubs.
Make sure your teenager's friends are acceptable to you, you are in charge and you must be sure friends are good influences and the personality of your child.
Should you have any question, please Ask Dr. Susan for your free parenting advice.
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